Maybe Someday.

It seems that every time I decide to write in here it is late at night.. When really, I should just go to bed instead of staying up, over analyzing all of my feelings. Oh well, what can you do? So here it is. I'm going through a lot of different emotions lately. All the people that use to consume my life, are no longer here. Now in some ways that may be a sad thing but in most ways I appreciate it. The best thing about the last year is that I feel that I have grown more in this one year than in the like decade. The best part is that I have learned to let go of things that can't be changed. I use to hold onto things so tightly. Mostly in fear of losing something that meant so much to me. One thing I've realized is that, the only people I should be scared to lose are the ones that are also scared to lose me. In this last year I was able to let go of all the people that have disappointed me over the years. I've learned to really simplify my life. I've loved this because of the enormous stress it has taken away. I was texting Lexi today and we were joking about how we will never find anyone that we are satisfied with and even if we do.. we may not be satisfied with the fact that they're too perfect for us. Sometimes I feel like this is the story of my life. Do I constantly push people away because I am scared of having a future? I hope one day I will meet someone that shows me exactly why I have pushed so many others away. Maybe someday.